13 Aug 2012 2 Comments
Lisa called for comments on her facebook page about what a real woman was. I commented “The comparison game is one that can take anyone down a sad and self-defeating path. In the 12 years that I have been a registered nutritionist I have seen beautiful women destroy themselves for what they believe is perfection…..we are all real, we all breathe, love and cry. Let’s just CELEBRATE one another instead of comparing our bodies. The Goddess is within and when you know that, it shines outside too xxx”
It has been on my mind since then. I am reminded of the Shakespeare play that I studied at school, Merchant of Venice when Shylock makes a speech about being ridiculed and hurt simply because he is a Jew he says “ Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer? If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die?” Replace the word Jew with WOMAN…see how you feel…
We are all women. We all laugh. We all cry. We all feel pain. e all know joy. Is it not time now to stop compartmentalising ourselves by our shape and weight? IT REALLY IS TIME FOR US TO CELEBRATE ONE ANOTHER AND STOP THE FANFARE OF ENVOUS COMAPRISONS AND RIDICULE AND HURT.
What is a real woman anyway? We all come in different shapes and sizes. It is about time we celebrated that, celebrated one another and stopped wasting precious time and energy on envy or comparison. I am 5’7” and I am naturally quite slim (not skinny). At the height of my stuffing episodes I was bigger but it wasn’t really the weight or shape that really upset me it was the fact that I was binging when I wasn’t hungry, I was giving my power away to an outside force, food, in the belief that it would ‘save me’. Really, what was needed was for me to love myself, nurture myself, to look within, to stop the violent war with myself, the self-loathing, the criticism.
I don’t own a set of scales, so I have no idea what my weight is. I have long-ish legs, small breasts and a bigger bum and hips in comparison to my top-half. I was once described as an up-side-down lightbulb (it would have been a bit kinder just to say pear)!! I am beautiful in my own way. Beyond that I am also kind, supportive, quirky, intelligent, introverted, loving and much more. When you read that I am slim what do you feel? Do you think “she won’t understand” “she’s lucky” “she’s a bitch” ??? Well, In my past have been through eating disorders, emotional eating episodes and depression. I have huge compassion for those in similar situations. I also have a progressive auto-immune condition which could attack any organ of my body and, although I manage the condition well through diet, lifestyle and my spirituality, I do experience pain in my body almost every day. We are all human, all perfect in our imperfections. We all have our own struggles to go through, no one is more of less worthy of love than we are. Let’s set aside the comparisons and let’s just celebrate and support one another rather than simply looking at outward appearance.
When we begin to love ourselves, our emotional eating calms down, our bodies find their balance – each of us will have a different, unique, shape and size and that will also change over time (and during our monthly cycles…and with the moon cycle too). When you love yourself deeply and completely, when you embrace the whole of who you are, then you will find a sweetness that has nothing to do with size or shape.
STOP comparisons now. Stop reading those magazines that tell you there is something wrong with the way you look. Skinny people, thin people, curvy people and large people may or may not be binge eaters or have issues with food. The challenge for each of us is to get back to ourselves, love ourselves, love our unique bodies and find a peacefulness within. As we find peace and self-love our shapes may change…but that really isn’t the point because we always were, and always will be, beautiful.
GO ON, I DARE YOU. LOVE YOURSELF. BEGIN TODAY. BEGIN NOW. THE ONLY THING STOPPING YOU IS YOU.