If you read ‘Love or Diet‘ you’ll read about my own journey with allowing joy into my life and how my ancestral past impacted my ability to allow myself to experience joy. You will also find out that I used to feel extreme guilt over being happy. This is an ongoing healing journey for me. One that I embrace daily.
Many of us may have hidden anxiety around allowing joy, happiness, peace etc into our lives. We can feel guilty about being happy when there are people around us who are sad. We can feel unsafe about being happy because there are people in our lives who get jealous, we keep ourselves small so as not to upset others. We can worry about being a shining light because if we are our best selves we may lose friendships that count on us being down rather than up.
For some of us these issues around ‘allowing’ can impact our emotional eating, or eating/food issues in general. Sometimes when we don’t allow authentic pleasure into our lives, or when we don’t allow ourselves to feel how we feel, we end up eating as a proxy way of allowing pleasure into our lives – but of course this tends to bite us, as afterwards we feel guilty, or in pain, about the eating.
We need to realise that it is safe for us to allow happiness and pleasure into our lives. It is true that some people around us might get jealous, or unhappy, or resentful – but those feelings are theirs and we cannot continue to live our lives staying small in order to please others. True friends will love us always.
What pleasure could you allow into your life today? Walks, swimming in the sea, time with my husband, dogs, friends, time alone with a book, writing in my journal….these things fill my heart with glee.
The photos here were taken last week during a blissful couple of days away. I met up with my dear friend Lisa Lister for some heart-sharing, laughter and swimming in the sea. These were pleasure days for me. Days that in the past I would not have allowed myself. If you haven’t seen Lisa’s website go check it out….she has written a fantastic book called SASSY and has just produced some truly beautiful Sassy SHE Oracle cards.
If you need some help with self kindness, compassion and self love then check out my low cost 35 days of love e-course